farewell

i really dnt know what to say cas everything i had to say has already been spoken. but yeah you finally going away really really hurts me alot on da inside cas i dnt want you to go. we known eahoter for years its impossible to fourget you. well i always fanticized and day dreamed about being with you. i always thought we would never be apart from the first day i realized i loved you. i wish everything with us coulda been better. i would take away the times i slapped you. and i wished i could earase all the times you ever hurt me out my life. cas it really hurts me to think abt it everyday. im fine now but the paint never really went away and everytimme you hurt me again just added to the pain and the hurt on my heart. to tell the truth nick i never thought you really loved me. like maybe but not love. you always say you did and i just say okay but in da back of my mind i know it wasnt real love like how i felt for you love and you even proved that to me by leaving me for other girls all da time and even telling me i wasnt the type a girl you would marry and you tellling me that really stuck with me. you telling me you dint like me like how i like you and you telling me you didnt love me anymore. that stuck with me too. you made it soo hard to trust you and belive you cas your words never paired with your actions. you were the cause of all my heartache and pain over all the years. but you were also the cause of all my happiness. you really really made me happy not saying that cas you were my first love but because you just did. you were more than a first love you were also my best friend. you were the one i went to when i was feeling sad abt things. i was the one you went to when you were thinking aobut your life. you shared that deep feeling you had with ME! and that made me feel special. we been through so much 2gether. i really cant beive youre gone. it hurts me so much. cas i'll really have no one. now i gotta grow up and start over .and be a big girl without you and live my life while your are builing yours in the army. i really do love you nick. i just wish our relationship could have been soo much better than what it was. i've always had to watch you being with somone else and have tons of memories with someone else. but you promised me that we will have one a good relationship one day and ill keep holdin on to that until that day comes. i just hope you dont forget abt it or me. im gonna miss my mouse family so much. me you and stuffy. i'll never throw him away or loose him. and i keep the texts you sent me that text saying "i love me reguardless of what i done or how i act"... it means alot to me. i just really really wish i mean alot to you. cas i felt like i havnt done enough. i know your life has been a living hell i just wanted to take your pain away and make you happy emotionally and mentally and your physically happy. thoses days ive said bad things to you i never mean. nick. what yo ualways said to me has never paired up with what you have done. i just want you to know that. but i will always always always show my love for you and keep telling you i love you for as long as i can. but thanks for the memories. thanks for everything. i love you soo much. have a good and successful life nick we will meet again hopefully.

- taylor mouse

♥

p.s. i love you nicholas mouse

:)